Character talk

Speckledfury

From Children of StarClan

This adoption is closed.
Please provide a paragraph outlining why you feel you should be selected as the next player of this character.

EASEMENT: Include a section in your application giving some thoughts on how you intend to deal with the missing time in the history, and what developments you're considering for the character during the off camera time.
Archives: Past Recovery

Offer from Quackfruit

Adoption Status: Accepted

"This adoption offer is being made under eased rules."

I find this character's personality, design and everything in general to be very interesting, also the fact that she is from Socrates and Fiercestar's line. She seems like quite the potentially snarky, intelligent character, and would be fun to write for.
As for time missed, I'd imagine she would have continued to get excellent training from her beloved mentor Hopestorm, and maybe I could RP a (perhaps her last) lesson from Hopestorm, then her warrior ceremony if she should already be a warrior by now (as I noticed on the ThunderClan roster, her name is listed as SpeckledFURY in the warriors' section).
If Dustwing's player agrees, then Speckledfury could fall in love with him--if that is the type of "interest" she is meant to have, as her profile doesn't go that much into it. As Dustwing is a very distrusting tom, they could have had an argument at some point that was the result of Dustwing trying to push her away.
To this day she still tries her best not to be forgotten by her two medicine-cat sisters, though this is proving to be difficult as she is warned that she must not distract them from their duties.
Never stopping her 'quest' of sorts to prove her worth as a valuable member of ThunderClan, her prejudice against other Clans intensifies, and she is more determined than ever to unveil some juicy, Clan-shattering secret that her father Bloodstar could use to ThunderClan's advantage. She has also found that taunting her opponent before she attacks them--which has always been something she did as if it was second-nature--has proven to be more useful than she thought. It can be a distraction to give her an opening, and she takes great relish in it.
She is bored of her apprentice life insofar. To relieve this, she has of course become more mischievous, but had also taken to teaching her young nephew Duskkit a few things that she herself has learnt from Hopestorm, within her free time, which is steadily increasing. Now Duskkit is Tigerpaw--apprenticed to her own father, no less!--and she is more bored than ever.
She engulfs herself in training, to the point where even Hopestorm, whom is so similar to her and might understand her reasons, is getting a bit concerned.
Will Bloodstar make her a warrior?

I'm approving this, despite a few reservations based on your application. I figure we have to go through the easement proceedings anyways (which will let us sort them out first). The first reservation is that you clearly want to plan her falling in love... and seem to think that's what the "interest" implies. Give our Mates & Mating tradition file a read. Interest could be as simple as him being a cat she thinks worthy of procreation with. Don't let the "ZOMG LOVE ME BE MY MATE" rot from the latter books too far into your head. The second is that you seem to think she's not a warrior already simply because her character sheet is woefully out of date. Her player was officially declared missing October of last year, and was missing well before that. Things have happened to her since then. If she weren't a warrior now it would have taken something huge to keep her back for 8 moons. But luckily for you when you go through apps to fill in the missing history, she's Already been made a warrior.
Your part of easement is to fill in the missing parts of her history and then submit it for check. If you have questions, feel free to ask.  Kitsufox  Fox's Den 15:05, 27 July 2011 (CDT)

Decline #1: Check Results - 27 July 2011

Welcome to CoSC character approvals. They're an important part of the process of learning the ropes of CoSC, which is why even those adopting a first character must undergo this process. Once you've done it once, though, you'll be able to adopt without undergoing the eased requirements. I always welcome questions about the declines, so feel free to ask (I suggest asking via PM, though. It's the most efficient way to catch my attention).

CoSC characters typically go through 2-4 rounds of approval and eased adoptions are no exception to this. Take no offense to being declined. I have yet to encounter a first timer who doesn't get declined at least once.

IMPORTANT DATES: Some Missing - You'll want to get her warrior ceremony date listed. PERSONALITY

  • has a sharp wit, piercing intelligence, very good memory, and an overall thoughtfulness - Powerplay, due to the fact that she hasn't really been played of late and you can't establish those as true in the current day via RP. I suggest you describe the things you feel would lead to these impressions rather than simply claiming them.
  • she also has a . . . very good memory . . . that it may not seem others in her family have - Bloodstar has an eidetic (photographic) memory.
  • She is a . . . knowledgeable young she-cat - This is just a comment to make sure you know of something, not a request for change. CoSC has differences in the opinion of what a cat is young and old compared to other games. Most cats will enter the elder's den in the last 50's or early 60's. It's rare for a clanner to live much past 70 moons here. This means that she's edging towards her middle age now, and so you might want to consider the phasing.
  • With her two sisters in the medicine cat den, she has always had a group of younger cats to boss about - Powerplay, as this statement suggests that she can sucessully order Mothwing and Sparrowsong around. For the record, I doubt either of them would yield. Unless you can find a cat's whose players say would yield to her bossing, it cant be implied that anyone has obeyed otherwise you're powerplaying.
  • The apprentice - She's no longer an apprentice.

APPEARANCE: bloodline is coming through in her adult appearance - She's well into her adult years. She should be described as showing her full adult appearance.

HISTORY

  • Tense - You slip into the present tense here and there. 3rd person past tense is considered "standard" for a history here.
  • very much liked Sorrelpaw from the beginning - When writing histories, it's generally accepted that cats should be referred to by the name they bore at the time, rather than a more current name. Thus when referring to Sorrelpaw as a kitten, Mothkit would be the name of choice. This avoids the confusion of needing to go "Nightmoth, then called Mothkit".
  • very much liked Sorrelpaw . . . moreso than even her sister - Powerplay. Unless the player of Sparrowsong agrees to this statement (or you can prove it via RP) you can't make such a statement.
  • She spends great lengths making fun of 'the ugly mottled thing,' whether it be poking or taunting. - Since there's a huge gap here, you might want to address how this was received. You'd have to clear whatever you put in with Cottonwhisker's player, but I doubt she'd tolerate such things for long. I know Bloodstar wouldn't. Even Hopestorm would have been on her for publicly doing it to a clanmate.
  • As she has grown and become the oldest apprentice - She was never the "oldest apprentice". Just a part of the most current group of apprentices. Granted... arguable, you are right that he was technically older than Alderpaw, who was apprenticed two moons later. and Sparrowpaw didn't end up training as a Medicine Cat until fairly late in the game.. *cough* It might work. Think about it, but don't necessarily consider this a request for change.
  • As she has . . . been delegating her chores and duties - She has no ability to give orders to any other cat in the clan. If she was caught (and she would have been - Others would have noticed Alderpaw doing things they'd assigned to her) there would have been hell to pay. Additionally, she'd have been at a completely different level of training than a cat apprenticed two moons after her. She would have completely different duties to do. Duties Alderpaw wouldn't be considered old enough to be doing. And without Alderpaw's player agreeing to it, you can't decide that her player would have even done the duties assigned by a cat who had no right to tell her what to do.
  • she has spent a lot more time being bored and getting into mischief - Her idleness would have given her away very early in her slacking by giving her work away game. The first major incident and Bloodstar would have started keeping her busy on purpose. And it wouldn't have been with "fun" work like hunting.
  • She has been spending a lot of time with her niece Owlpaw and young nephew, Duskkit, while trying not to fade away from her two sisters in the medicine cat den. - You'll want to clear these statements with various players to avoid powerplaying. And make sure they drop me PMs for any permissions that end up being needed from them to avoid the powerplaying. I suggest contacting them using the forum PMs.
  • Recently, she became friends with a warrior Dustwing who interests her greatly - Powerplay, unless there's RP to back it up/you have permission from the player (who needs to PM me a statement of that permission).
  • The young cat much looks forward for when she gets her name, so she can do actual duties - Give our Mentoring Information a look through. A cat in the last stages of training would be working on hunting patrols, standing sentry, and joining border patrols. They'd basically be doing warrior duties with supervision. At the very end extra warriors arn't even being included on patrols in case of emergency! Why would a leader promote a cat who couldn't do a warrior's duties to the rank of warrior?
  • as she is warned that she must not distract them from their duties - Whom is doing this warning? Bloodstar wouldn't. MC's at the only cats in the clan with the ability to order everyone around. If they needed peace to get things done, he fully expects that they'd run anyone interfering off without his orders.
  • she has finally gained the respect she had been craving as an apprentice - Powerplay. You can't force others to respect your character via your history.
  • Bloodstar plays favorites quite openly and Speckledfury became very aware of this as she aged. She likes to use it both for her own benefit and her Clan's. - Bloodstar does play favorites, but not in the day to day life of the clan. He makes key selections (IE: Who leads patrols, who he makes his senior warriors, etc) with a distinct bloodline bias, but things like who eats are made with the good of the clan in mind, and the code. She's a little young to have ever had a major opportunity to have his favor directed her way. She's likely hoping for that sign of trust that indicates Sr Warriorship: An apprentice. She's in the age group where she'd start being considered.

This isn't extraordinarily long by the CoSC standard for a first round, given the amount of history was written by a newbie ;) Just remember, if you have any questions about anything, ask away (I recommend PMs).  Kitsufox  Fox's Den 19:11, 27 July 2011 (CDT)

Decline #2: Check Results - 29 July 2011

You've made really good progress.

HISTORY

  • Tense - You slip into the present tense here and there. 3rd person past tense is considered "standard" for a history here.
  • Recently, she became friends with a warrior Dustwing who interests her greatly - Powerplay, unless there's RP to back it up/you have permission from the player (who needs to PM me a statement of that permission).
  • The looks other (younger) cats give her are becoming more reverent and she feeds off of this, though again this is given by a natural instinct to respect those that are ones' elders, and not anything real. - Powerplay. You cannot control the expressions others look on your character with. And you'll prettymuch need RP to know what expressions others turn on your character.

Just details left now.  Kitsufox  Fox's Den 18:13, 29 July 2011 (CDT)