Frozensky

Decline #1: Check Results - 30 April 2011

Welcome back to character apps. No need to say much since you know the drill ;)

FAMILY: Dame, Smokeflower & Maternal Half-sibling, Dusktalon - I always make a point of cautioning people against playing thier own character's family. It's just not as much fun as having others be that family. But, I know you can handle this situation (and the challenges with making two characters in a clan who basically have to have very limited interaction), so if you wish to, I don't want in your way.

PERSONALITY

• Most of the time, however, Frozensky just comes off as smug - Powerplay.
• she’s forgettable - Powerplay.
• She was never really one to believe that wishes came true and everyday is a gift, but she didn’t used to be quite the pessimist she is now, either. There was a time where she believed the best in cats, or at least a time when she was willing to give some of them the benefit of the doubt, but after her mother's death, her brother's scorn, and inner guilt due to the former those moons have long since passed. - This section isn't exactly personality. Seems more like history to me.

APPEARANCE

• mostly white & lynx point - A pointed cat wouldn't have true white (unless it's one with white markings). Please clarify the overall markings.

HISTORY

• Instantly. - This strikes me as random and disconnected from everything around it. So it's something you'll want to consider.
• her mother's illness & Smokeflower ate simply, as if only eating enough for her kit, and when Cloudkit had been weaned, Smokeflower simply ceased to eat altogether. - As this isn't consistent with any pregnancy induced illness I know of (If you know of one, just drop me a PM with a few reference links so I can get it onto the list for inclusion in the game information) I have to deem it suicide and ask you to change it.
• It was a sickness - a weakness, she was told later, in scorn, picked up when she gave birth. - Powerplay, as it implies this was the general consensus over this departed clanmate.

Any questions or points for discussion, just let me know.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 10:22, 30 April 2011 (CDT)