Jade

Check Results - Decline #1: 21 July 2011

Welcome back to apps.

KEY DATES: Registered as Jasper von Haught - I have some seriously issues with the "von" in there, considering I just approved a Savannah cat with a von in the registered name... It may have just been subconscious, but there's an air of plagerism to it that I really don't like, even if it wasn't done on purpose. I suggest getting more creative with the registered name (Haughty's Jasper Gemstone for example). There's no reason to limit yourself just because most of ours are "of Catteryname" (von is just 'of' in another language). Particularly given how similar Jasper already is to Aslan.

AGE: 27 Moons - This age is banned due to the latest update to the bans list. Sorry.

PERSONALITY

• Jasper is a cat with much ambition and pride - Powerplay. Don't just claim the traits, prove them in the personality. Remember to leave room for others characters to interpret those traits at the same time. Not every character thinks the same!
• possessive of things she regards as hers, defending them proudly - Powerplay.

APPEARANCE: Jasper is half Egyptian Mau and half Savannah. She is much larger than medium-sized cats, reaching a height of 17 inches at the shoulders. - This is not consistent with two important things. The first is the size of a Savannah of "High F" type (the only type we're permitting anymore, which means the parents, grantparents, and great-grandparents are not servals). The absolute closest she could be to Serval Blood-wise is F4. This means her size is limited to the following: "F4's and F5's will range in size from 14 to 18 pounds and will stand 13 to 15 inches at the shoulder and 16-18 inches long" (References on Size & on Letter Codes)

HISTORY

• Her sire was a purebred Egyptian Mau and her dame was a Savannah - Could you perhaps touch on what on earth her breeders are shooting for? That is... Why would you outcross a high F female who's likely getting close to being SBT eligible with a non-savannah? Even if it's just they accidently got together, please address it since it suggests irresponsible or non-goal-oriented breeding that you may or may not wish to imply of her cattery (and it's fine if you want them to be somewhat disreputable, but you should be clear about where she comes from).
• She did thinks to anger them - Typo in there.

Not a bad start. Just a few issues that need your attention. If you have any questions, kick 'em straight to me.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 19:16, 21 July 2012 (CDT)

Check Results - Decline #2: 27 July 2011

Apologies for the lag, though I am at least within the parameters for non-clan cats. Life's been a bit crazy on my end, and I do appreciate your patience.

PERSONALITY: is overly-confident - Powerplay.

APPEARANCE & PERSONALITY: her status as a purebred cat, regarding cats who aren't of a respectable descend as inferior, a purebred Egyptian Mau & is notably larger than medium-sized cats, reaching a height of 15 inches at the shoulders - The personality openly implies not just traceable purebred decent, but quality decent (IE: Why else but ribbons would most cats place purebred above other felines?). But, her appearance puts her size as so large she would likely never place in a show, implying that her parents would be incapable of this. "Medium Size" in cats is something like 9-10 inches. She's a great deal larger than this. getting into the class of "large" in the sense that full-domestic-feline breeds known for being very large are. Being "very large" for an Egyptian Mau would amount to being 11 or 12 inches. 15 is large to the point of her never winning in a show ring. Of her being /inferior/ as her breed goes, something her parents would likely have never welcomed if they were fixated on quality. She's so far outside of the breed standard you've selected… And you've put an emphasis on her thinking she's quality… It wouldn't make sense for her to be the exact opposite of it to the point where she's have been sold as a pet, and probably without papers by her breeders.

APPEARANCE: eyes with tear marks - Tear marks require feral blood to appear, and do not appear to exist at all in cats without wildcat blood. Egyptian Mau, in fact, seem to appear to have few dramatic stripes on the fact all. I'm guessing this is a vestige of when this character was a Savannah.

As always, any questions please let me know.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 18:15, 27 July 2012 (CDT)

Check Results - Decline #3: 29 July 2012

APPEARANCE: tip of her muzzle is a creamy white - Use of the word "white" means that your cat is Bicolor. You don't have to change anything here, but I figured I'd point this out since it's a major fault in the Egyptian Mau breed.

Just final details at this point.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 18:38, 29 July 2012 (CDT)