Mintaka

Decline #1: Check Results - 4 March 2011

I'd like to apologize first for taking so long to get to this. The curse of non-clan cats is that they get shunted aside frequently as Clanners are given precedence in the approval lists. Since you now the process of creating a character, I won't get into that, but if you have any questions just let me know.

VITAL STATS: Aged 7 moons - I know you originally created a 6, but the moon advanced while the character is pending so I thought I would bring it to your attention in case you strictly wanted 6.

PERSONALITY

• Even at this early age - This is more just me pointing out some things, than anything else. But 6/7 is not as young for a feral as you're making it. She's been weaned for 4 months, and has reached the age of sexual maturity. Unlike the clans who would consider them an adolescent, most ferals would consider her an adult. It's young, but not an early age. She's not a kitten, but a young adult.
• she is a kit of few words - She hasn't been drinking milk for 4/5 moons now. None would consider her a kit or kitten anymore.
• Though she was forced to mature well beyond her moons - Considering her upbringing is not clan, and she's reached the age of sexual maturity, I have doubts about this statement, too. Clan cats have very long childhoods and adolecences. Ferals live harsher lives and are forced to live and act as adults at very young ages (frequently they're living independent of their mothers and families as young as 3 moons).

APPEARANCE

• Undersized for her age, Mintaka's tiny delicate frame - For me to know exactly what I'm approving, please add to the notes section what her adult size is intended to be.
• Mintaka would be the spitting image of her Singapura father had she not inherited her mother's pale green eye color. - Then her father must have been a very poorly bred Singapura, for the breed is generally within the Semi-foriegn to semi-cobby range (with common looking like the most desirable, based on pics of winning cats I've looked at) based on the standard, with heavy legs and a thick neck. You're previous description says to me a waif-like creature of very foreign build, like an oriental shorthair...
• which Thunderpaths to aviod - Thunderpath is from the clanish vernacular, not the feral one. Only a feral of clannish decent would use a word like that. Most ferals are not clannish blood ;) If this one is, it needs to be addressed in the history.
• a group of young and bored Twolegs cornered them, heavy sticks in hand. When they raised their makeshift clubs, about to rain blows upon the defenseless kits - Why did the young cats not run? They'd have been 6 months of age, and were fit from learning to survive and surviving. They're far from defenseless, and certainly not kittens anymore. To be cornered by a creature so stupid at stalking and tracking as a human just suggests that they're not fit to survive anyway. At least to me. And what is with the kids in Whitehart? This is the second history in as many months with one beating a cat to death. Felony animal cruelty isn't exactly common... Someone shooting a feral cat is perfectly possible in MN (in parts of MN it's perfectly lawful), and there are a million other things that could do them in. Resorting to making the children of the area this malicious isn't necessary to render her bloody terrified of humanity.

It's a nice start. I'm looking forward to the next revision.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 09:15, 4 March 2011 (CST)

Approval Notes - 21 March 2011

NOTES

• if Whitehart is one of those areas in Minnesota in which it is legal to hunt feral cats - Whitehart is super-pro-animals. But if you dropped that event in a nearby town that she came from, it would work fine. If feral cat hunting was aloud where our clans live ;) Morons would be taking potshots all the time. I'd just assume that they came from a bit further away and the poor little kitten's been on her own for awhile now. It also solves the issue of having to put the sire up for adoption/ect. We can just create the sheets and move them off camera.