Nightsong

Check Results - Decline #1: 16 September 2012

In apps once again! So fun. Sorry about all the lag. It will be more consistent from here on out.

KEY DATES: Born and dubbed Darkkit in the Moon of Tiger's Wrath (2007) - This is one of the clanless variations for names. In accordance, the link is connecting to the clanless canon pages, which don't relate to her. To keep records correct, please assign the proper clan choice.

PERSONALITY

• Her abundant self-confidence seems to make up for her lack of patience. - Powerplay. Please leave room for interpretation by others for how their characters understand her traits. Many cats would not consider self-confidence to make up at all for a lack of patience.
• She isn't afraid to try and smart off cats, and her own leader is no exception. - This sentence is a little garbled, and I can't accurately even guess what you intended to say. Please clarify.

HISTORY

• Her mentor was Spiderweb - Instead of creating an NPC who is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of her training, I recommend leaving it unnamed and finding an already existing character (living or deal) in the records that might serve to have been her mentor. That way you'll grow extra IC connections, which are always nice.
• The quiet of her life was momentarily broken when she caught a rouge trespassing and hunting on ShadowClan territory. She immediately attacked the cat before even asking what they happened to be doing there. The intruder refused to leave, and the fight that ensued was violent and finally ended with the rouge dead and her own ear nicked. - If you wish to keep this event, you'll want to get into touch with Nagini about Elmstar's reaction to this. ShadowClan is not much for violence, they tend towards being more peaceful… This may not have been well received by her leader.

As always, any questions, just let me know. It's a very nice start. I didn't have much to complain about.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 12:47, 16 September 2012 (CDT)

Check Results - Decline #2: 18 September 2012

PERSONALITY: She isn't afraid to try and smart off cats, whether they are clanmates or not. - I believe that it would be "smart off to".

HISTORY: The quiet of her life was momentarily broken when she caught a rouge trespassing and hunting on ShadowClan territory. She immediately attacked the cat before even asking what they happened to be doing there. The intruder refused to leave, and the fight that ensued was violent and finally ended with the rouge dead and her own ear nicked. - Since we're in the nitpicky decline anyways, you may want to expand this to include parts of Nagini's response. She posted it on her own talk page, in case you haven't seen it yet.

Really great progress. We'll be done with this in no time!  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 10:49, 18 September 2012 (CDT)