Reedwhisker/Archive 1
From Children of StarClan
Check Results - 19 January 2009
PERSONALITY
- Timid and quiet - Mild power play. It's preferable that you leave conclusions to the reader.
- she has a keen mind that, when put to its advantage - The keen-ness of a mind is something that is pretty subjective. You may wish to re-work this somewhat to avoid that.
APPEARANCE
- Her fur is often damp and sometimes matted from living near the river her Clan calls home - Take a peek at the Map and you'll notice how much of the RC Territory is not next to water. You might wish to reconsider such a statement, as even on the edges of the river why would his pelt be wet on a brilliant spring or summer day?
- She has a small scar leading from the corner of her right eye to her muzzle, due to her freezing up and not moving during a claws-unsheated playfight with her sister. - Why would clanmates ever fight claws unsheathed? It's dangerous and likely to cause actual injury. Softpaw fighting would be just as effective for training and playing, and it really ceases to be playing anymore when claws are involved.
HISTORY
- About ten minutes after they started, Reedpaw could only watch in horror as her sister leaned in to grab a fish, slipped, and was carried away. She stared in horror and shock for a few moments, before her senses caught up with her and she raced back the way they came to find the two adults, who had been looking for them the entire time. Hyperventilating and panicking, she only stood, fur bristling, as her mentor and Birdpaw's reprimanded her and asked where her sister was. She only led them to the spot, and both came to the same conclusion after a search of the area led to no results.
Nothing of much interest happened for the next few moons; of course, the trauma of seeing her sister fall and drown in the river - I just have to ask how an apprentice old enough to be getting sent on border patrols and well trained enough to give a pair of warriors the slip managed to fall gently into a low and slow fall river and drown. - Her warrior ceremony was a moon delayed - First Fishing to Lion's Glory is 9 moons. That puts her in training 3 extra moons. Not 1.
- her father, Brackenclaw, shared his concerns with the leader at the time, asking that his daughter be given a moon extra to get back on her feet and be sure that she would be useful to the Clan - Please consult the Traditions Document on Death. The only reason her ceremony would be delayed would be if she either failed evaluations or was showing signs of dangerous instability.
Kitsufox Fox's Den 21:12, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
Check Results - 23 January 2009
IMPORTANT DATES
- The character was 7 moons old before apprenticing. Why?
- Your character failed enough evaluations to spend a quarter year extra in training... I just wanted to warn that Reedwhisker would likely have a reputation for being... Slow. I just want to bring it up so that you know this can (and will) effect the potential for certain responsibilities your character has.