Skyfall

Decline #1: Check Results for 19 June 2012

Greetings and welcome to your first go-round in our applications department. Please note that most characters end up going thru around 2-4 rounds of decline and editing. Do not feel discouraged by this as it's perfectly ordinary and a part of the process of a new user learning the ropes at CoSC. We have a lot of views that are unlike many games, and a number of rules interpretations that are different than what is typical. In the decline itself I will take the section that I have change requests for and quote it, and then describe the needed changes. (Occasionally, it's just me commenting, but those situations will be clearly marked). If you run into any questions, please feel welcome to contact me for clarifications.

PERSONALITY

• Skyfall is [. . .] somewhat antisocial - I always caution new people against making their first character anti-social. Without already existing connections and relationships to other players in the game, connections which an anti-social cat does not help you build, the character might be difficult to play/to find people interested in RPing with him. In the end it's up to you, but I like to urge people to at least consider the difficulties of a cat who is the exactly opposite of the clan-cat standard.
• It is more common for Skyfall to make enemies rather than friends - Borderline powerplay, mainly because it implies that others feel eminity towards him, and does more than suggest that he feels these others are his enemies.
• He is often lost in thought, plotting spectacular revenge upon whoever humiliates him - I'm going to just issue a caution here. CoSC uses an ICA=ICC system. This means that "In Character Actions Equal In Character Consequences". If he works actively against his clanmates, actively to harm members of his own clan, there is a solid chance that he could end up duffed out of the clan, or executed by order of the clan leader for treachery.
• Overall - His personality fits the game trait "Fierceblooded". If you're interested, we could work him into the appropriate bloodline (which is TC based) so that he could actually be one. There's a sort of... Lost branch of the tree that he could be a part of really easily. If you're interested just hit me with a forum PM and we'll discuss it.

APPEARANCE: makes a startling contrast against the background of black fur they are placed in - Powerplay. Use of the word "startling" takes control of the emotions of other players characters in how they view him.

HISTORY

• When Skypaw was ten moons old, both of his parents were killed. They had been found in ThunderClan territoy, not far from the East Clearing. The messy kills were the work of a fox. - Due to the current situation with the Fox, his parents cannot have been killed by a fox unless you move the timing of it. Part of what makes the "Time of the Hunters" plot significant is that there have not been hunters in the clan territory for some time. Your current timing puts the fox showing up in First Green, a full 4 moons ahead of the start of the TotH plot (which is still ongoing). If you want to have his parents be fox-killed, that's fine, but we just need to make sure the date falls no later than Lion's Glory.
• Missing Time - Your current history record ends promptly with him becoming a warrior at what can only be assumed is 12 moons (given that you make no mention of him being held back). This means you have a full 5 moons in which you say nothing about what's been up with him.

Definitely a nice start. I look forward to seeing the next revision.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 08:41, 19 June 2012 (CDT)