Stormfall/1

Check Results - 17 August 2013

Greetings and welcome to your first go-round in our applications department! Characters ususally go through 2-4 rounds of decline and editing, so do not feel discouraged about the fact that this was declined. CoSC has diffrent rules, and a diffrent approch to Warriors. The Apps process is where new players pick up a ton of these details.

In the decline itself I will take the section that I have change requests for and quote it, and then describe the needed changes. (Occasionally, it's just me commenting, but those situations will be noted in the text). If you run into any questions, please feel welcome to contact me for clarifications.

APPEARANCE

• He has a single dark speckle upon his nose, a mark which is not symmetrical, and may detracts from his physical appeal. - Powerplay. I suggest avoiding putting matters of opinion into the appearance. Keep it objective.

HISTORY

• He was a normal kit, the only possible deviation was his slightly abnormal silence. - Low-grade powerplay, along with the fact that his sibling was also reticent to talk. In this litter a certain amount of reserve seems normal.
• He was enthusiastic about his training, but this was only read through his body language. This persisted through his entire training. - This statement is an absolute, and absolutes are dangerous. The way this is written it implies that he never once said he liked anything about his training, or even spoke about his training. Even for a quiet cat, this seems strange.
• Stricken by Sootfur's battle with an infection - This is just a comment from me, about some game history. Bloodstar, the previous TC leader, lost his first life to infected wounds. Let me know if you'd like full detail on that.

Mostly minor details that need tending to.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 07:44, 17 August 2013 (CDT)