Owlfeather/Archive 1

Check Results - 22 July 2010

Welcome to CoSC and congratulations on your first character submission! I'm Kitsufox, administrator and chief of character approvals. Please understand that, as we have a view of the warriors world that differs from other games and standards no other game seems to share, a few rounds of declien and editing are to be expected. If you run into any questions about the decline feel free to drop me a PM to discuss it.

'AGE: 27 Moons - This age is currently banned by the Bans List.

NAME HISTORY: Format - Please conform to the conventions described HERE.

IMPORTANT DATES: Apprenticed Moon of Turning Leaves (2006) & Named a Warrior Moon of First Green (2008) - 2 years as an apprentice seems excessive ;)

PERSONALITY

• She has a sharp tongue and a short temper - Powerplay. Please describe what you feel gives these impressions rather than just claiming them. Players should be free to view your character through the eyes of their character without being told how their character must see yours.
• She also easily falls head over heels over senior warriors. - Clarify, please. I'm not sure if you're talking love (which seems weird to tie to a rank) or just hero worshiping them.

APPEARANCE

• She might look like an WindClan cat - In what way does she look like a WindClanner? WindClanners are built sold enough to handle prey as large as they on average. They're not lightweight waifs or known for being anything other than a bit smaller on average. (See our WindClan and RiverClan pages for what is considered typical).

HISTORY

• As a kit, she lived in a group of rogues. - The fourth item listed on our bans is "Loners, Oruges, or Kittypets turned Clan Cat". This ban is one that is permanent.
• She was often teased by the other apprentices - Powerplay. You need the express permission of other players to put that action onto their characters.
• Once when she was training, her mentor praised her for doing a complicatedmove right the first time, sayin she would be a great warrior. A group of apprentices was nearby and the leader of the group, Oakpaw, said that she would never have a place in the clan, no matter how good a warrior she was. It enraged her so much she attacked him, claws unsheathed. They wrestled until owlpaw left him with a long scar across his face. After that, no apprentice dared to annoy her. - You've described a situation that would have seen her evicted from the clan. Violence against members of your own clan, specifically violence intended to maim your clanmate isn't tolerated. None of the leaders who might have been in charge then (Ashstar, Duskystar, Hawkstar) would have judged it to mean that she was unable to shed the taint of her rouges-blood and would never make a clan cat. Particularly with two traitor siblings who'd left after they'd been taken in and cared for by RiverClan. She would have been cast out.
• she had already won the respect of her clanmates - Why would any cat respect her for attacking a clanmate with the intent to do harm? My Duckfeather would consider her a worthless cat who didn't belong in the clan.
• But when a fox attacked, it was she who chased it off. She also was at the head of a raid against river clan once. - These events would comprise significant changes to the game history and cannot be permitted in accordance. And how could a single cat drive off a Fox? They're the size of cats and very, very dangerous. They're known for killing cats. What fool would want to try against one without a patrol to back them up?
• She has always flirted with toms, but never really found a mate. She has high hopes too. She has always wanted to have kits, but wants to have the perfect mate as well. - If she wants kits she'd just ask the tom she wanted if he'd sire the litter. Love isn't required. Give our take on Mates and Mating a read.
• If she never has kits, she wants to become leader - Since when can a cat with kits not be leader? Don't cite Bluestar at me, because I believe y'all have it wrong. The other cat would have gotten the deputyship because he could take up the job without needing time on half-duty to finish rearing her kits (In my opinion, and as it's my game that's the opinion that works). We permit female leaders & deputies to bear offspring, even while on the job.

FAMILY MEMBERS: Distant ancestry in windclan. - This is on our Bans list as a Particularaly Heavy (Hard) restriciton. This means that "You must be a member in good standing with already approve characters, consistent RP activity, good RP quality, and a history with the game extending at least 6 months. Those marked with (HARD) will almost never be approved.". As a new member you do not qualify for such a trait.

Remember, questions should go to me.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 12:58, 22 July 2010 (CDT)

Check Results - 30 July 2010

PERSONALITY

• She is known for her debates, never backing down until she's sure the right side has won. - Unless everyone with a character in the clan agrees with knowing her for that, or even thinking of them as debates instead of pigheadedness, it's a powerplay.
• She is also known to be fiercely loyal to family members and RiverClan - Powerplay again. You don't get to control perception of others, only guide it with descriptions.
• She does have a sweet side - Powerplay.
• She was thinking about asking Cardinalflight however. - In what way does the tom she's thinking of approaching factor in as a part of personality?
• She has a special fondness for pregnant queens, elderly cats, and sick cats. - Does this mean an illness will completely absolve other slights and make her fond of a cat she disliked prior to the change in condition?
• she is so merciless on border patrols & She hates to see cats die for any cause - These two lines seem to conflict each other. Attacking cats mercilessly typically leads to injury and a high possibility of death...
• She sometimes helps the medicine cat - It's rare that a medicine cat needs more of a warrior than a pair of eyes to serve as lookout. Untrained assistants in the Medicine Den are generally not welcome. Seafur would not have had the patience for it. Heronfeather might (though I doubt it, based on her personality), but you'd have to get Nagini's permission for such a thing.

APPEARANCE': as well as being a fantastic swimmer. - Thin limps that push litter water generally do not make for much of a good swimmer.

HISTORY

• They thought she was going to be a medicine cat - Who are "they" and have you gotten their permission to force their characters to think a certain way?
• Whenever she fed the elders, she would do extra such as change their bedding and check them for ticks - Elder's are not incapable of walking across camp to get their own food. I doubt many would take kindly to being treated like invalids.
• Impressions of being better than other apprentices - I get the impression that your character was "always better". Without permission from everyone who played an apprentice at that time, such a claim is a powerplay.
• The rest of her apprenticeship was pretty uneventful until she caught greencough. She barely survived the disease. When she recovered, she worked double-time to surpass her expectations. She did it just in time for her final assessment. She passed with flying colors, and received her warrior name. - I do not see this character getting well and finishing training in time. To have almost died would mean a very severe infection, taking around a half moon, at LEAST to get well from. Followed by around a moon of general malaise and ill-feeling. No amount of hard work would get around the fact the illness would have lasting effects and interfere with her apprenticeship and her progression. Chances are that Duskystar wouldn't even consider assessing her until she wasn't showing signs of the aftereffects of her illness.
• Owlfeather fell to pieces & It took the next few moons for her to get control of herself and shape up before someone thought she was sick. - It would be too late if she took a couple of moons. More than about a quarter-moon and her stability would be questioned.
• on a solo hunting patrol - There is no such thing as a "solo hunting patrol". It's not a patrol when it's not assigned. Just a hunting trip. Cats are never sent out alone to hunt.
• A few moons later, she had just gotten back from a hunting patrol when she remembered a promise she had made. She scrambled over to the nursery. "Hello? Pebblekit, Whirlkit, where are you?" Just a moment later, two bundles of fur came rushing out of the nursery mewling, "Owlfeather, what took you so long?" Pebblekit and Whirlkit wanted her to show them the stars at night. As they basked in the moonlight, Whirlkit pointed our that some of the stars were brighter than the others. She explained that those cats are some of the newly deceased. As they all went to bed, she could have sworn she saw her mother smiling down at her from one of the brighter stars. - Powerplay. If you don't have them PM me their permission it's not permitted. And their mother would need to PM me permission to have permitted another cat to undertake the duty of teaching something so basic as Silverpelt and StarClan to them instead of herself.

 Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 10:24, 30 July 2010 (CDT)

Check Results - 1 August 2010

PERSONALITY

• a hardworking, fiercely loyal she-cat - Powerplay.
• a special fondness for pregnant queens and elderly cats - (2nd INCLUDE) Does this mean an illness will completely absolve other slights and make her fond of a cat she disliked prior to the change in condition? I doubt if a cat she dislikes and conflicts with greatly enters the nursery you would develop any sort of fondness for them.

APPEARANCE: her stocky, long limbs - The two words conflict one another. Stock means sturdily built. Long is not generally considered stocky. Please clarify these so they work better together.

HISTORY

• She was born in a litter of two, though her sister was stillborn. The loss affected him so deeply becausshahs was what he was afraid of. He ran away and was hit by a monster. - Due to the garbled section in the middle I can't make sense of the meaning with any certainty. I'll just say now that if you have the sire running off and dying because a kitten was stillborn It'll show up in the next decline once you've clarified it. Kittens are stillborn all the time at this game. Life is harsh. The weak do not survive. Few do more than mourn in passing at the death of a kitten who never received the spark of life.
• Owlkit loved to stay out at night and watch the moon and the stars. That's how she earned her name. - As she was named Owlkit on the night following her birth how could the actions she took during the latter part of her kithood have had any influence on her name?
• She didn't fully recover in time, and as a result, she had to serve two more moons as an apprentice. - Conflicts with your Important dates. Currently she spends the normal 7 moons as an apprentice. By my math that's 1 shy of what you described.
• The whole Clan grieved because in her day she was an honorable warrior. - Powerplay.
• Owlfeather fell to pieces because her mother was the one cat she could confide in. Now she had no one to ask for advice or confess her feelings to. It took the next few weeks to recover from her loss. - This is more an observation than anything, but chances are that cats will have doubts about her stability if she went to pieces and took moons to get it back together. Grieving is accepted in it's time, but after the burial it's considered out of place. If you leave it in be ready for the possibility of it being brought up at some point.
• he thought Owlfeather and him were food friends - What's a 'food friend'?
• A moon later, she was on a border patrol when she saw a WindClan cat she knew from a Gathering. His name was Galeheart, and he thought Owlfeather and him were food friends, even though she repeatedly told him her loyalty was to RiverClan. She separated from the patrol when he called out to her. He asked her to run away with him. The question took her aback. She had told him many times that they were not friends. He professed his love to her, but she knew she could not accept his offer. Her loyalty lay inside these borders. She refused and he was heartbroken. He had thought that she returned his feelings. He ran back to his Clan. At the next Gathering, WindClan reported his death. - This whole situation is disgustingly implausible. Inter-clan relationships are rare. They go against the very grain of the society. This will not be permitted to have happened off camera in a history. We hardly let this sort of stuff happen on camera with all sorts of RP development. Violating the fabric of a society isn't so simple as just deciding to run off and leave everything you know like this. It takes a great deal of time to develop.

As always, questions should head my way if you have them.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 09:23, 1 August 2010 (CDT)

Check Results - 24 August 2010

GENDER: She-cat - RiverClan She-cats have been banned.

PERSONALITY

• She never gives up - This isn't a request for change, but rather a caution about the dangers of absolutes. I want to make sure you understand that you would be expected to never have this character give up. There is an expectation that you would play this. Never giving up as you have it written would mean if she started a fight and was outnumbered, she wouldn't cut and run even to save herself.
• strongly believes in . . . defending . . . the warrior code in whatever way possible & If a cat insults her clan at a gathering, she is not afraid to unsheathe her claws to prove that she means business. - These two statements contradict one another. Please address the contradiction and explain why it exists, or alter one of the two statements. You first say she's a proponent of the code, and then say she would willingly, knowingly break the code by fighting during a gathering.
• Owlfeather is very caring to her clan. - Powerplay. You cannot force everyone to see her as caring.

APPEARANCE

• her stocky, well-built limbs give her advantages such as being really fast - Stockyness is rarely associated with being fast... The broad and study generally sacrifice the speed brought by sleekness. You don't see a Clydesdale at a horserace for a reason.

HISTORY

• Owlfeather was put with Darksun - Who is Darksun?
• she heard Darksun say, "It's time." She turned around to see him walking slowly toward the gorge. As he neared the edge, she became aware that he had no intentions of stopping. Darksun was walking straight into the gorge. Owlfeather knew she had to do something, but was frozen with fear. His eyes were glazed and he had a determined look on his face. As he walked over the edge to his death, she heard him say, "My time has come. Take me to StarClan, Silversky." - Please consult the document on Mature Themes. This isn't really something I'm comfortable with being dealt with so... casually in a character history. Particularly since it's a very huge deal. And for you... You should have concerns, too. Chances are that, with how bizarre suicide really is in the context of the clan society (it's a very community-oriented society, which does not lend itself to a self-serving act like suicide), that it would be more likely that Owlfeather was viewed as a potential murderer and they're just waiting for proof. It is, at the very least, not something I'm willing to let be the point you end a history on... It would be preferable if it was left out completely, though. I simply haven't seen you IC. I don't know how you'd cope with a theme like this...

As always, questions are welcome. I apologize for a lag on getting this returned to you.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 17:32, 24 August 2010 (CDT)

Approval Concern - 5 September 2010

APPEARANCE

• She is an average WindClanner size, but her long, thin legs give her advantages such as being really fast and being able to fit into small spaces & the Pixel you're creating - I don't generally use imagery to define what you mean, but in this case I need to because the pixel is of a foreign build... and I figure you should be warned. You wouldn't have a rabbit hunter on your hands. You'd have a cat whose clanmates would be likely to consider frail and too weak to hunt the primary prey of the clan. I guess this is less a point for change, and more a point that I think you should be aware of ;) Clan cats of medium size and common build will weight around 5 to 7 pounds. Your character would be... something like 4-5 pounds. A rabbit would probably be around 3 pounds. See why I say she wouldn't be a prime rabbit-hunter?

SIGNIFICANT CAT: Sunsplash - I know this is approved based on the other players sheet, but I suggest being ready to edit them in once the approval of Sunsplash happens.

If you decide to make the change to a heavier build, you'll have to go with Common. Just let me know if you decide to, and get it taken care of before you start RPing.  Kitsufox  ^{Fox's Den} 15:17, 5 September 2010 (CDT)